What The F

J4Fun - Newspaper from Romania -

Published in Romania - Social interactions and entertainment - 09 Nov 2018 11:38 - 2

Most of us are law abiding citizens who know right from wrong, but you might be surprised to hear about a few official no-nos around the United States. There are some absurd and archaic laws still on the books in some places that will make you scratch your head about our legal system. The US is known around the world as an excessively litigious society, but hopefully there aren’t too many people filing frivolous lawsuits for these kinds of offenses.

1. No Eating Dead Frogs in California

To be more specific, if a frog happens to croak during a jumping competition, you can’t make a meal of its corpse no matter how tempting its muscular frog legs are. It makes one wonder how much competitive amphibian consumption was going on in the state that warranted the time and effort required to make this a law? It stems from the old gold mining town of Angel Camp which has proudly hosted a Frog Jumping Jubilee for over 80 years. The legislators are just looking out for Kermit.

2. No Dwarf Tossing in Florida

Owners of bars and nightclubs in the Sunshine State can be fined up to $1000 if they promote any kind of dwarf tossing contest. This one made the law books as recently as 1989. It’s kind of sad that these things have to be specified, but it was a lar entertainment fad back in the day. It’s even sadder that state legislator Ritch Workman actually tried to have this law repealed in 2011. “I’m on a quest to seek and destroy unnecessary burdens on the fre and liberties of people,” he said to the Palm Beach Post. “This is an example of Big Brother government.” Well, somebody has to look out for the little people.


3. No Eating Humans in Idaho

Got the munchies? Don’t think about snacking on your neighbor in Boise or you can be imprisoned for up to 14 years (is that all?). There is, however, a caveat to allow it under extreme life-threatening conditions (like running out of potatoes, maybe). We don’t have a problem with this law, per se. Prohibiting cannibalism seems like a reasonable decree, so kudos to Idaho for taking a stand in 1990. What concerns us is that there is no official law against consuming human flesh in the other 49 states.


4. No Adultery in Michigan

We hope there weren’t a lot of Ashley Madison sign-ups in Kalamazoo, because cheating on your spouse is actually a felony there. Since 1929, Michigan residents can be sentenced to four years in prison plus a $5000 fine for stepping out on their spouse. In fact, the law goes on to specify that there be no hankie-pankie between a married woman and an unmarried man (oddly, the reverse isn’t itemized). It’s also a felony in Wisconsin and a crime in Illinois, Alabama, Minnesota and even New York. “Fornication” between unmarried folks is a Cl 4 misdemeanor in Virginia. Granted, this is rarely prosecuted these days, but watch out as it is technically on the books.

5. No Funny Fake Mustaches in an Alabama Church

Attending a church service is no laughing matter in the state of Alabama, so leave that Groucho Marks ‘stache at home. Ditto for that Magnum P.I., Duck Dynasty or Fu Manchu falsie. It is actually a crime “to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church,” according to lawyers.com. It’s not something that is ever really enforced, but free speech activists have taken up an online petition to get this “infringement” off the books once and for all.



Takeshi Kovacs

Comments (2)

There are silly laws all around the world. Like, there s a law in Italy, that it s illegal to die in some specific town (unfortunately, I forgot the name and can t be bothered to google it).